TGIF - Why I try to identify with everyone, and why I should just listen

No matter how difficult your Friday is going to be, you have it in the back of your mind that you get 2 whole days to yourself once you are done pushing through.



Picture courtesy of www.tuclubsocial.com

I sing to myself on the way to work most days - but Fridays especially so. And I try to make sure other people see me - whether it makes them laugh or think "what a loco lady!" I don't mind - if I can bring you some entertainment during your daily commute, I will!

I do not listen to the radio much - more into my own playlists of tunes from over the years. But when I used to listen to the local station on my commute, I would be singing the good songs, and looking out for people that were doing the same - I love that moment of connection to a total stranger, where you realise you are doing the same thing at the same time, in totally different realities.

It is what I live for, human connection. I love talking with a new acquaintance and getting that feeling of "Yessssss, you get me, and I get you!"

I have always tried to create experiences like these in everyday life. I do so with the lady at the till when I pay for my groceries. "Long day, huh?" Often though, I am merely bouncing off of the other person's conversation.

This does not always work so well - for example:
My boyfriend tells me about how something is for him, or what he experienced at work today. I immediately bring up MY version of this - thing. This can come across as quite selfish, and as turning the attention to yourself, when all I was trying to do was go "Ah, yes I see what you are saying, and I understand, because see: here is how I experienced it!"

He does not always get it.

I have had the experience where I am the speaker, and someone else interjects from their perspective - honestly it feels like somebody bulldozing over your conversation. It feels like they did not hear you at all, and that what you just said triggered something THEY remembered and wanted to say - robbing you of your moment. Or rather, it feels like nobody cares to listen to and hear you.

I talk a lot. Clearly - I had to start a blog so that I could just get this all out! (Yes, the boyfriend reached full capacity. The best friend still works - but I needed MORE!!)

It is now obvious to me that one of the greatest things many people crave is to be heard. So I am going to do a little mindful listening project. Watch this space.