Mindful listening - how to really listen

Listening is a dynamic thing. It is affected by more factors than one would think:

• The environment you are in
• Your current mood
• Your focus
• Multi-tasking
• Thinking ahead to what you want to say
• Feeling the urge to identify with everything you hear

When these factors are out of balance, it results in one person not listening, and the other person not being heard. That is called bad communication. At its worst really.

I have spent the past week or so focusing on getting back on track at work, getting my productivity up to a good level again. In addition to that, I have run two 5km races - ok, I walk/ran the one! Also, I make a point of practising mindful listening, especially upon arriving home.

Listening to what my loved one has to say has really made a difference to my evenings. I usually steamroll the conversation with something along the lines of "What's do you want for supper", and the conversation ends. When I started holding back, staying silent, and listening before responding, suddenly I got a whole lot more to listen to. And not in a bad way!

So this week has been pretty amazing. Communicating with your partner is so important, even more so now we are starting off on his business as of 1 August. We are so excited, we have all the scheduling software, business cards and flyers ready to go. I will be keeping my job, as I still have lots to learn about small business management. Also, we need one stable salary for at least a while, until the money is rolling in from the new business!

Listening to music - now that is another story. I have learned that there are mornings I should listen to the radio (DJ Fresh is on in the mornings now - it's the best!) - and others where I should have my CD in. Some days some songs just... ugh - overtake me emotionally? It's loco emotion man. I need to consciously decide to skip sad songs some days. I think this is temporary. A lot of the best songs are sad ones!

Anyway, I need to brag a little - I got my Level 1 Certificate for Adobe CS5. That is after procrastinating the course for a whole year! I did it, yes! I have also been using the software for all of G's designing of invoice/ jobcard templates. It feels good to apply a new skill so close to home.

Moral of the story - listen more. You will find that people talk to you more, and also let you into their world a bit more. Also, every so often you can get some good advice, when you least expect it.

It was suggested that perhaps therapy and the medication I am on IS NOT ENOUGH to keep my state of mind healthy. I am going to try out a support group nearby. I have no idea what to expect, so wish me luck!

I'll leave you with a thought for our next discussion:

Do you believe you deserve what you have in life? Do you deserve more? Or less? What does it mean to "deserve" anything? Who decides what you deserve?